Tonight I am discovering that I have trust issues. This has been hard for me to admit...but Im finding that right now in this season of my life, it is really hard to trust that the Lord knows exactly what he is doing. I think the biggest struggle for me is that I have absolutely no control over the circumstances in my life. The life plans that I had are no longer...and I can't seem to figure out exactly what the Lord is doing!
But as I'm typing, the Lord is reminding me of his faithfulness throughout my entire life. Why would he not be faithful now? He has been and will continue to be faithful.
My life is not mine...my purpose is not for me. Instead my purpose is to bring glory to my Creator. And HOWEVER he chooses to bring glory to Himself through my life, is my joy. I may not understand but that doesn't mean that I can't trust him!
So my prayer tonight is that my Creator would use my life to bring Him glory!
Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Striving
I can't sleep tonight...this seems to be the case a lot here lately. Not sure if it is from working night shift or just things on my mind but nonetheless it allows for sweet times with the Lord! So I guess I won't complain :)
Lately the Lord has been showing me that my heart has been elsewhere for quite some time and not fully devoted to Him. In showing me this, he has been teaching me the importance of pursuing Him with all that I am-even when I don't want to. Maybe some you always want to pursue God with all that you are, but not me...honestly, it can be a struggle to give God all of my heart. I'm finding, however, that it is completely worth it to give God all of my heart; he tends to handle it a whole better than I ever could.
Tonight I ended up in the book of Hosea. Hosea 6:3 says "Let us strive to know the Lord. His appearance is as sure as the dawn. He will come to us like the rain, like the spring showers that water the land." God has brought me back to the place of abundance...which is that place of knowing him. But what God is showing me is that it takes effort. I must strive to know him!
It's funny, though, Israel was not truly repentant in this verse...they did not truly strive to know the Lord. They continued their idol worship. I cannot fully know God and continue to have idols in my life. My heart must be fully His. Nothing else is worthy of my effort or my energy! Only Christ!
Webster defines "strive" as devoting serious effort or energy. Am I devoting my effort or energy to knowing Him? Ha actually here lately I have been devoting my effort and energy into work. Im picking up extra shifts to help out at the hospital and the Lord is convicting me that in order to strive to know Him I have to have energy to do that. After 36 hours on night shift and a 12 hour day shift...there is not a whole lot of energy left to know Him.
When I strive to know Him, I WILL know him because He has promised me that I will. James 4:8, "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, double-minded people."
Lately the Lord has been showing me that my heart has been elsewhere for quite some time and not fully devoted to Him. In showing me this, he has been teaching me the importance of pursuing Him with all that I am-even when I don't want to. Maybe some you always want to pursue God with all that you are, but not me...honestly, it can be a struggle to give God all of my heart. I'm finding, however, that it is completely worth it to give God all of my heart; he tends to handle it a whole better than I ever could.
Tonight I ended up in the book of Hosea. Hosea 6:3 says "Let us strive to know the Lord. His appearance is as sure as the dawn. He will come to us like the rain, like the spring showers that water the land." God has brought me back to the place of abundance...which is that place of knowing him. But what God is showing me is that it takes effort. I must strive to know him!
It's funny, though, Israel was not truly repentant in this verse...they did not truly strive to know the Lord. They continued their idol worship. I cannot fully know God and continue to have idols in my life. My heart must be fully His. Nothing else is worthy of my effort or my energy! Only Christ!
Webster defines "strive" as devoting serious effort or energy. Am I devoting my effort or energy to knowing Him? Ha actually here lately I have been devoting my effort and energy into work. Im picking up extra shifts to help out at the hospital and the Lord is convicting me that in order to strive to know Him I have to have energy to do that. After 36 hours on night shift and a 12 hour day shift...there is not a whole lot of energy left to know Him.
When I strive to know Him, I WILL know him because He has promised me that I will. James 4:8, "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, double-minded people."
Monday, August 6, 2012
Must I Move Forward??
This post was written a couple of weeks ago and I never got around to posting it (probably because I still wasn't ready to move forward...) but I think it is pertinent to my life right now more than ever!
So I'm in a rut...a place that I can't get out of...well that's not entirely true; it's a place that I don't really want to get out of. It is a place of comfort but NOT a place of abundance. Sometimes it is easier to be in a place of comfort. I find myself wondering why I can't get out of this particular place I am in; then, it dawns on me-I don't want to. I want to sulk and feel sorry for myself because it is easier than moving on and moving forward.
Why am I scared of moving forward? Because I do not know what that place ahead will hold. I only know that God is telling me to move forward. Does God have ill intentions for my life...NO! Would I ever dare say that he has ill intentions towards me...nope! But that is exactly what I am saying when I refuse to move forward. I am saying I do not trust that the place ahead is better than this place of comfort. Another fear I have of moving forward is that I will forget what is in the past. But why? Doesn't God's word command us to do just that: "Forget the former things...see I am doing a new thing" If I want to move forward, I must stop looking backwards.
Okay awesome, I have figured out my diagnosis but what in the world is the cure for my predicament. Well, that is where God's word speaks truth into my life. I was talking to friend today about the book of Joshua and just could not stop thinking about it, so that is where I immediately went to when I opened my Bible (side note: I love how the Lord works through other believers in order to teach us!) In Joshua 1:6-9 the Lord is addressing Joshua after Moses' death. I could imagine there was a sense of hesitancy among the Israelites about going into the Promised Land after becoming comfortable in the Wilderness for 40 years. I could imagine some of them were feeling the same way I feel tonight. As the Lord addresses Joshua, three things jump out from the Scriptures:
1. Be strong and courageous
2. Be very careful to follow the Lord's commands
3. Meditate on his scripture.
So this is what I must do...I must seek the Lord. I must be intentional about moving forward. It won't be easy but it is NECESSARY. Meditating on God's scripture and following his commands take intentional decisions to do so. So here I go...I am deciding tonight to move forward, even though I don't want to. I am trusting that God will once again bring me to a place of abundance...that place of knowing Him more intimately.
So I'm in a rut...a place that I can't get out of...well that's not entirely true; it's a place that I don't really want to get out of. It is a place of comfort but NOT a place of abundance. Sometimes it is easier to be in a place of comfort. I find myself wondering why I can't get out of this particular place I am in; then, it dawns on me-I don't want to. I want to sulk and feel sorry for myself because it is easier than moving on and moving forward.
Why am I scared of moving forward? Because I do not know what that place ahead will hold. I only know that God is telling me to move forward. Does God have ill intentions for my life...NO! Would I ever dare say that he has ill intentions towards me...nope! But that is exactly what I am saying when I refuse to move forward. I am saying I do not trust that the place ahead is better than this place of comfort. Another fear I have of moving forward is that I will forget what is in the past. But why? Doesn't God's word command us to do just that: "Forget the former things...see I am doing a new thing" If I want to move forward, I must stop looking backwards.
Okay awesome, I have figured out my diagnosis but what in the world is the cure for my predicament. Well, that is where God's word speaks truth into my life. I was talking to friend today about the book of Joshua and just could not stop thinking about it, so that is where I immediately went to when I opened my Bible (side note: I love how the Lord works through other believers in order to teach us!) In Joshua 1:6-9 the Lord is addressing Joshua after Moses' death. I could imagine there was a sense of hesitancy among the Israelites about going into the Promised Land after becoming comfortable in the Wilderness for 40 years. I could imagine some of them were feeling the same way I feel tonight. As the Lord addresses Joshua, three things jump out from the Scriptures:
1. Be strong and courageous
2. Be very careful to follow the Lord's commands
3. Meditate on his scripture.
So this is what I must do...I must seek the Lord. I must be intentional about moving forward. It won't be easy but it is NECESSARY. Meditating on God's scripture and following his commands take intentional decisions to do so. So here I go...I am deciding tonight to move forward, even though I don't want to. I am trusting that God will once again bring me to a place of abundance...that place of knowing Him more intimately.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Who Am I?
Who I am? I have made some stupid choices over the past few days and I found myself asking the Lord, who am I? This isn't me. I'm not an emotional person that makes rash decisions. Yet recently, that's exactly who I have been. And my excuse is that I am a girl...wrong I am daughter of the King! Tonight as I was praying through my stupidity and emotions, the Lord began to guide me to 2 pieces of Scripture to remind me that I am His!
Deuteronomy 7:6 says, "For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the people on the face of the earth to be his people, his TREASURED possession"
Isaiah 43:1,4 says, "Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by NAME, you are MINE...since you are PRECIOUS and HONORED in MY SIGHT and because I love you I will give men in exchange for you and people in exchange for your life"
So who am I? I am His treasured possession! I am HIS! I am precious and honored in HIS sight! Regardless of my mistakes, I am His treasured possession. Regardless of my emotions, I am his! Regardless of my rash decisions, I am precious and honored in HIS sight! Nothing I do will change his view of me!
Thursday, July 5, 2012
A Week in Nicaragua
So it has been several weeks since I have been back in the country and I am just now having time to write a post about the trip. Hopefully I can accurately describe all that God taught me. I previously posted about wanting to use the Lord's strength and completely rely on Him! He answered my prayers: I had to constantly rely on HIS strength throughout the trip.
We stayed in the city of Jinotega, but my group ministered in the city of San Rafael. We did a Vacation Bible School every afternoon in San Rafael.
Each night we joined with the church of San Rafael to worship the Lord together. It never fails, I love worshipping with my brothers and sisters in Christ in a language different from my own! It is so incredible to know that I serve a big enough God that knows every language!
We stayed in the city of Jinotega, but my group ministered in the city of San Rafael. We did a Vacation Bible School every afternoon in San Rafael.
making crosses with the kids during craft time
everyone listening to the Bible story
Each morning we had the privilege of prayer walking around the city of San Rafael to request that the Lord demolish the stronghold of idol worship in the city. The people of San Rafael worship a dead priest who they think offers healing. They have built a "temple" for him and they go there to worship and ask for healing.
statue of Priest Odorico
the gate to the "temple"
coffin of Priest Odorico (this is where the people would come to pray for healing)
As we prayer walked each morning, the Lord began to show me the power and importance of prayer. Prayer honestly changes things and it was awesome to engage in spiritual warfare by praying Jesus' name over San Rafael. Each night we joined with the church of San Rafael to worship the Lord together. It never fails, I love worshipping with my brothers and sisters in Christ in a language different from my own! It is so incredible to know that I serve a big enough God that knows every language!
On this trip, one of the main things that the Lord taught me was to truly love his people!
If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. -1 Corinthians 13:1-3
Jinotega (where we stayed)
Ulga! a member of the church :)
I must have love for the people of this nation because without love, it is pointless. The Lord continually reminded me how important it was to love. I could not just serve this nation, I had to love these people!
God is working around the world! I am so grateful that he opened my eyes to his power and his work in the city of San Rafael!
Sunday, June 10, 2012
In HIS Strength
Tomorrow I leave on a mission trip out of the country. Excited? Yes, very much so. Yet there is some fear too...fear of doing this alone. Fear that this is all too familiar and that I will do this mission trip in my own strength instead of the strength of my Father. Thus far, I haven't "needed" the Lord to provide anything. The Lord has blessed me with the funds to be able to go on this trip...so expense was not an issue. I have been on several mission trips in the past so this is familiar. My fear, though, is that the familiarity will lead to independence of the Lord. My prayer this past week, however, has been that I would be completely reliant upon the Lord. That HIS strength would guide me!
Psalm 27:1 "Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted"
Lord, I pray that you would build this week! I invite you to pray with me as I leave. Pray that the Lord would be glorified and that I would work this week in HIS strength!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
The Call of Obedience
About 2 months ago, I was reading in Numbers 14 and God spoke so clearly to me about the call of obedience. I was in a place in my life of making a decision about a relationship and this is what the Lord showed me. In Numbers 14, the Israelites were complaining of how hard it would be to conquer the promised land. I saw a lot of myself as I was reading because I was complaining of how hard it would be to end that relationship. And you know, it was hard and still hard at times. But God so gently spoke to me and said:
"Im calling you to obedience, not a life of ease. Sometimes on the other side of obedience is something equally as hard as the step of obedience you just took. Im not interested in your comfort, Katherine. Instead I am interested in your trust. Obedience is not about what is on the other side but rather will you trust me to be faithful? Because I guarantee you that I will be faithful. If I were not faithful, it would go against my character and I cannot go against my character."
This is what I have found, not only was that step of obedience hard, but what has been on the other side has been hard too. Dealing with fears, insecurities, and feelings of loneliness has been difficult at times. But I have found that my God is faithful! My prayer is that "the Lord's strength may be displayed" (Numbers 14:17) through my obedience and my life. I pray that whatever God is calling you to be obedient in, that you will listen. Not only will you listen but I pray you will obey. And in obeying Him, I pray that you will learn to trust Him and that you will find Him faithful.
"Im calling you to obedience, not a life of ease. Sometimes on the other side of obedience is something equally as hard as the step of obedience you just took. Im not interested in your comfort, Katherine. Instead I am interested in your trust. Obedience is not about what is on the other side but rather will you trust me to be faithful? Because I guarantee you that I will be faithful. If I were not faithful, it would go against my character and I cannot go against my character."
This is what I have found, not only was that step of obedience hard, but what has been on the other side has been hard too. Dealing with fears, insecurities, and feelings of loneliness has been difficult at times. But I have found that my God is faithful! My prayer is that "the Lord's strength may be displayed" (Numbers 14:17) through my obedience and my life. I pray that whatever God is calling you to be obedient in, that you will listen. Not only will you listen but I pray you will obey. And in obeying Him, I pray that you will learn to trust Him and that you will find Him faithful.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)